An open letter to a new mum
By Zoe Marshall
To all the new mamas out there,
Everything will be ok. I lie. It will be ok most of the time. I remember being so terrified of this tiny being. So terrified that I hated being left alone with him for longer than 2 hours. I would get full blown anxiety. But this too will pass and you will love your alone time. Here is what I wish I knew...
From my experience the best thing to do is to “Let It Go.” And I mean everything. The washing, the tidy house, the phone calls you need to return, your sex life, getting back to yoga. Let it all go. If you can manage a shower or a walk around the block you are nailing it and celebrate accordingly - these moments are your wins! Also, eat all of the kilos. You will be sleep deprived and emotional. Eat what makes you a little more sane.
It’s ok to sometimes resent your new situation. It’s catapulted you from your very lovely and selfish life into one that is no longer yours. But Remember, this time is short. Revel in the baby bubble. The hours are very long but the days are so short and you will miss them – I promise you.
Snuggle your baby, smell them, nibble their toes. Because in a few years they will be too cool for you and then you will have wished you savoured every moment. Even an explosive poo, maybe not. But make sure you always have an extra pair of clothes for you both. Nothing worse than wearing poo around all day as an adult.
ASK FOR HELP. Biggest point yet. I was the worst at this. Thinking I could do it all. It got me good. I had postnatal depletion for 3 long months because I didn’t have enough help. Ask for help from anyone that is willing, especially other parents their heart will ache for you. Milk it. You will repay that ten fold one day.
Do not, and I repeat, do not chastise your body. This is a tough one. It's so different from what it was, your nipples, vagina, stomach, thighs. It's all melty and gooey and it’s ok. Looking at celebrities or instagram babes that have “bounced back” is only doing yourself a disservice. This body may stay or go. But in the early days try and love it, and if you can’t just don’t indulge in hating it. This is wasted energy, you need to afford yourself good things like reality TV. Do not waste it on hating yourself.
Talk. Talk. Talk. To friends, family and your partner if you have one. You need to share the burden and joy of this new world, don’t isolate. It is very dangerous.
Say no to too many visitors. This is a very important time for your new family. If you feel like having company go for it but don’t feel obligated. This is a new world for you and your baby. Even making a cup of tea for a visitor can throw us all over the edge when paired with a fussy baby who hasn’t slept. Put yourself and your baby first. You have the rest of your lives to catch up with anyone. Unless they say they’re bringing a meal or going to do the vacuuming. Well then, they’re always welcome.
Bio: Zoe Marshall is a TV and Radio Host who has worked in both Australia and New Zealand.
Zoe can currently be heard on Mamamia’s Baby Babble and Before The Bump podcasts.
Most recently, Zoe was a co-host of House of Wellness, a health and lifestyle show, on 7TWO alongside Ed Phillips and KIIS FM’s radio show, Celeb HQ.
In 2017, Zoe co-hosted Sunday Breakfast on Nova Brisbane with her husband, Benji with their show Meet the Marshalls.
Zoe has been a contributor for Whimn and Popsugar, whilst also running her own blog http://www.zoemarshall.com.au.
In 2015, Zoe co-hosted the 3pm pick-up show on KIIS FM national radio. She has also hosted ZM’s National drive show in New Zealand. Zoe has had many hosting roles including co-hosting Channel Nine’s Mornings and Eclipse Music TV, Jack of all Trades, New Motion Party and New Zealand’s Great Food Race.
Zoe enjoys hosting corporate and charity events including most recently, Biostime media launch, Tommee Tippee product launch, Endometriosis Australia, Cure Kids, Guess Jeans, David Jones events including the famous ringing of the bell for Boxing Day and L’Oreal’s XFactor party as well as being an ambassador for National Breast Cancer, Pink Hope and Endometriosis Australia.
The Letter Project to all those who mum
An open letter to all mums
An open letter to a new mum
An open letter to a single mum
An open letter to a grandmother
An open letter to a stepmum
An open letter to a working mum
An open letter to those who find Mother's Day difficult
Are you inspired?